Dear Lucy and Scarlett,
Parents count the time in hours, then days, then weeks, then months. We hold on to that last one longer than non-parents can fathom. Even though we have good reason (A twelve-month-old is very different from an eighteen-month-old, although they are both one-year-old.), part of it is sentimentality. With your youngest child, especially, you do not want to let go of the last firsts.
I still count the time in months for each of you.
Scarlett, you will be six months old in one week.
Lucy, you have been gone for twenty months.
About a month ago, I finally lost track of Scarlett’s age in weeks. About a month ago, I found myself telling people Lucy died “almost two years ago”.
We parents might hang on too long, especially with our youngest. Most especially with the one who is gone forever. But we always know when it is time to move forward. We might fight it, but we know.
I love you both. I will write you individual letters for that six month birthday and Lucy’s upcoming third birthday soon. Lucy love, keep looking out for all of us. Scarlett, keep showing us glimpses of your sister in your face as you grow into your unique, beautiful self.
All my love,
Mama
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