Green grass is everywhere

I recently turned 29 and I noticed something interesting. Absolutely no one believes me when I tell them I’m looking forward to my 30s! I really am, though. I’ve enjoyed my 20s, but they’ve really been a mixed bag. In fact, my 20s have been a lot more difficult and angst-ridden than my teens ever were. I felt like I really had it together as a teenager. I might have had it more together in my 20s if I’d been less rigid and made more mistakes as a teen. No one’s ever perfect, even if they seem that way. It may sound counterintuitive, but some teens really do need to be encouraged to let loose and mess up a little. That’s the only way you learn.

Maybe I’ll get nervous or upset as my 30th gets closer or after it passes. I’m really going to enjoy the last year of my 20s. But I think my 30s are going to be great. I’m feeling so much more confident about who I am, how I look, my ability to function as an adult. Plus, I have a wonderful husband with whom I’m still falling more in love everyday. I’ve finally got a job I like and I’m writing regularly. I’m also finally going to have a family. We haven’t started yet and you never know what life will hand you, but it’s great now and I believe it’s going to get even better. So, I have every reason to celebrate approaching 30 and being 30. I am older and wiser and feel like I have earned my happiness instead of just benefiting from a byproduct of youth and optimism. It’s a newer, steadier, deeper, but no less exuberant, excitement and happiness.

It’s sad that others don’t want to believe it and keep trying to tell me it won’t last. Maybe they’re jealous, but that’s their problem. I choose to focus on the good parts of getting older and becoming a parent and all of those things others complain about. I wouldn’t be surprised if I feel some angst as I approach other age milestones. However, I am going to do my best to celebrate my achievements and anticipate more. Being older can be great. Honestly, I wouldn’t go back if you paid me. Being young is hard. Youth isn’t wasted on the young, older folks are idealizing it and forgetting that it sucks a good part of the time. There is good with the bad, however, and your youth is the time to learn to have as much balance as you can and take things in stride. Many kids have far too little real responsibility that will teach them about adulthood and adults are overworked and too exhausted and disheartened or lazy to make fulfilling use of their leisure time. That’s why each group surreptitiously casts envious eyes at the other while covering up that envy by complaining about kids/adults today and gleefully deflating the other when they are excited about a milestone. Everyone is lucky and unlucky. Everyone has green grass. I don’t know when it became normal to complain all the time and be suspicious of other’s happiness, but it’s time it stopped. To quote an episode of 7th Heaven, “you CAN choose how you feel”. And most of us choose to feel rotten and unwittingly (or not) try to spread it around under the guise of humor. It’s not funny. And it’s not me. It’s time all of us decided to feel good and celebrate the good in this world. I’m not advocating turning a blind eye towards the world’s troubles. We just need to stop turning the blind eye to the good, especially in our own lives. Most of us have no right to complain as much as we do and we certainly don’t have the right to question other’s happiness, just because we’ve fallen in to that trap with our own. Own your feelings and let others do the same.

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