Adventures in postpartum birth control

A lot of people (namely men) probably don’t know this, but vaginas can belch. I don’t know of a better word to describe it. It’s different from passing gas, because you aren’t. I can personally attest to the fact that inversions in yoga can be very risky for precisely this reason. I once swept up in to a headstand and, somehow, my lady parts took a deep breath. I literally felt the air sweep in there prompting an inward “uh-oh.” Sure enough, what goes up, must come down, meaning, not only my legs, but the air. Unfortunately, there were only three people (including me) besides the teacher in that yoga class, so I couldn’t look innocent and pass it off on someone else.They were all good enough to ignore it, but they knew. Oh, they knew.

So, why have I subjected you to a long discussion of vaginal belching? (Which my husband just reminded me has another name, but I like mine better.) Well, I decided to try Nuva Ring rather than going back on the Pill. I started it yesterday and I swear, for like, an hour afterward, my body was trying to expel that thing. It didn’t succeed, but it made a noise remarkably similar to the yoga class incident at times. It finally stopped, but between my Nuva Ring and my son’s loud, uncontrollable gas, our living room was very noisy for awhile.

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