The Most Important Anniversary Yet

Six years ago today, my husband and I were married. This anniversary means the most to me of any yet. Those who don’t know us might wonder why the sixth anniversary would be so special. Those of you who do know us can probably guess.

It’s not because of this particular anniversary, but because of what we have endured since the last one. We have weathered stressors that often tear marriages apart. During this past year, we feared for our daughter’s life almost every day until the day those fears came true. We buried her and mourned another life just a few months later. We did our best to help our son through his grief while trying to handle our own.

There were times this past year where I truly feared for my marriage. Sometimes everything just seemed impossibly hard and I wanted to give up. I feared that bad things would keep happening and we wouldn’t be able to take it anymore.

I’m not foolish enough to think that our marriage is permanently safeguarded because we just made it through the hardest year of our lives together. But I have more faith in us than ever.

Only six years in, we have truly tested, “For better, for worse, in sickness and in health”. We have lived those words and we are still here, truly committed to each other. We are sure of our love for each other and that we can count on each other.

Even if more bad things happen, I know we can handle it. I have been forcibly reminded of the reason I got into this whole marriage business in the first place. It wasn’t just because I wanted to have kids. It’s because I wanted a real love and a real relationship. It was because we had the beginnings of a real love six years ago and I wanted to take on the challenge of nurturing and strengthening it. When challenges come now, I remember that I still have him and this love is what begat everything else, both the challenges and the blessings.  He is not my adversary, but my strength. We are a team.

I like to look back and remember that lovely day six years ago. However, this day has become a celebration of where we are now, not the ceremony that officially began it all.

We have built a home, celebrated weddings and births, and mourned deaths. We have created four lives, one which we ended up seeing through to its end and another that has yet to begin. Through moves, job changes, postpartum depression, toddler tantrums, sleepless nights, and health crises, we have always come back together. No matter what, no matter how badly we fight, we always come back together. We both want this marriage, this love, and this life more than ever. That’s why I feel we will be okay. We both want this more than we want to be right or to win. We may forget that sometimes, but we always remember and come back together.  

I am surer than ever that Chris is my love and the person with whom I want to spend the rest of my life. Happy anniversary, honey. Here’s to the next year.

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