Bedroom misadventures

My cool husband and I had a very interesting evening last night. We actually did end up screaming in bed at one point, but alas, not for the reason we (or any readers out for vicarious thrills 😉 ) might have wanted.

Last night at about 2 a.m., we were indulging in our nightly ritual. I was reading and putting on hand lotion and my husband was watching television and rubbing my back.  (Yet another reason he’s so cool.) I was reading Glamour magazine and you know what the articles are like in there. I was reading one about, well, how to scream in bed quicker, longer, etc. You get the idea. Naturally, being two healthy, young people this article was quite interesting to us and I had not managed to get to the end of it before we were making out.

We seem to be going through a clumsy phase, because I somehow managed to poke my husband in the eye with my glasses. (Yes, we had been so eager to get to each other that I didn’t take them off.) He made a face that was just so damn funny that I am still fighting the urge to laugh as I write about it. It was like an exaggerated wink mixed with a grimace of pain. I laughed until my stomach hurt. I think it was better than a hundred crunches, that’s how much I laughed. I managed to calm down and we started kissing again, but I burst out laughing again a few minutes later. It was like trying not to laugh in a Catholic church. You’re doomed, whether you look at your little brother or not. (More about that in another post.)

I manage to sober up (which is very difficult to do while still staying in an amorous mood) and I leaned towards him to kiss him again. Unfortunately, he leaned again as well bringing my knee into unfortunate alignment with his groin. I did not connect, because my husband realized what was going on and reeled back in pain when my knee had barely grazed the area in question. Seriously. He is very protective of the goods.

Undaunted, we leaned over to kiss again (Being very careful of our knee-groin alignment this time.) when suddenly, a huge, black blur came out of nowhere, flew over our heads, and landed on top of us prompting a loud “AHHHHH!” out of both of us as we flew apart yet again. The blur promptly retreated to the sound of furiously pounding kitty paws. We are not sure, but it seems CC attempted to join us on the bed and picked a very unfortunate time and location on which to attempt to mount said bed.

After we checked on CC, Fudgie, and Earl Grey (Yep. All were traumatized.), we returned to our boudoir, laughing our heads off. That seemed to be the only exercise we were destined to get that evening.

Whether it was or not, dear Reader, I am not at liberty to say.

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