Free to breast-feed

September 19, 2009 at 2:44 pm (Babies, Breastfeeding, Etiquette, Life, Motherhood, Parenting, Uncategorized)

My son and I finally made it to our first postnatal yoga class today. I didn’t actually end up doing much yoga because my son, like most almost-two-month-olds, needs to eat every three hours. Also, he takes about 40 minutes to  nurse. I admit, this has kept me from attending the class before, because I didn’t want to spend most of it nursing instead of doing yoga. However, the writing is on the wall. I’m not going to be able to do anything unless I am willing to feed him during some part of it. So I went, but I took a bottle of breast milk with me, since he usually bottle-feeds quicker than he nurses.

My son has taken a bottle from me several times and he usually gets at least one a day from my husband, so that I can have a break. However, he wouldn’t take it today. So, since several other women were nursing their babies, I decided to go ahead and nurse him.

At first, I felt self-conscious nursing without a cover in public. However, I soon became completely comfortable with it. In fact, I felt liberated. Before I had a child, I was fine with women breast-feeding in public, although I assumed it would be best for them to cover themselves up, to avoid catching flack from people. I thought it must be easy to just toss a cover over yourself and the baby. I was wrong. I have a nursing cover. It is very difficult to get the child in and out of the cover without exposing yourself somehow anyway. You either have to flash people or place the child under there and then fumble with your clothes, blind and one-handed. Also, it is sweltering under there (I can only imagine what it feels like for my son.) and trying to get him latched back on  five thousand times while I can’t see him makes me want to pull my hair out.

Everyone says “breast is best.” They want all of the moms to breast-feed because it is better for the babies, but most people would prefer you stay trapped in the house for three months doing it. I’m sorry, but that is just not realistic. If people are going to get judgmental about a mom not breast-feeding, then they shouldn’t be judgmental about a mom doing it in public. A mom still has to have a life while breast-feeding, especially if she has other kids and/or a job. Plus, it’s better for both mom and baby if they aren’t trapped in the house 24/7. For the first time today, I didn’t feel limited by breast-feeding. I didn’t feel trapped. I actually felt like I was breast-feeding and living at the same time. I didn’t feel like I had to drop everything to feed my child. I didn’t have to stop my life. I was sharing my life with him.

Honestly, I think most moms probably aren’t self-conscious about nursing without a cover. At least, like me, they would find out they weren’t once they tried it. I think it is other people’s attitudes that make a mom self-conscious, rather than her own feelings. It’s not what the mom or baby is doing, but other people’s thoughts about breasts that are the problem. The fact is, I had to look really closely at the moms in class today to tell if they were nursing, even without covers. They were very discreet about it. They weren’t flashing their breasts around or letting them hang out when a child wasn’t latched to them. The fact is, our society is prudish and many think of breasts purely as sexual objects. Come on, people. It’s breast-feeding, not flashing your boobs to get Mardi Gras beads. And yet, some of the same people who probably pay money for those Girls Gone Wild DVDs, give nursing mothers dirty looks in public.

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Slow and not so steady

September 16, 2009 at 9:31 pm (Babies, Life, Motherhood, Parenting)

I never thought it would be possible for me to take longer to leave the house than I did before my son was born. I was wrong. Before, I took too long because I would oversleep or meander around, giving in to my obsessive-compulsive tendencies and checking everything over and over. Now I get up two or three hours early, rush around madly, and am STILL sometimes late or miss whatever event I am trying to attend entirely.

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Diaper-changing on the road

September 14, 2009 at 5:27 am (Babies, Drivers, Family, Motherhood, Parenting, Relationships, Travel)

Picture, if you will, a Brookshire Bros. grocery store in Buffalo, TX. A young couple are in the parking lot attempting to change their newborn’s diaper. Actually, the mom was driving, so she is in the front changing the diaper while the child lies in the front passenger seat. Almost everything that can go wrong does.

First – The child in question keeps pushing off the back of the seat with his feet. Consequently, his head is already hanging off of the seat before his mother even has his diaper off.

Second – The mother mentions that her open can of Diet Coke is in danger of being sprayed if the cloth diaper covering her son’s penis does not effectively block the spray if he pees. Due to extreme sleep deprivation, she does not notice her husband reaching right in front of her and removing the can.

Third – Her elbow strikes something on the console between the seats while she is trying to wipe her wriggling son’s butt and keep the makeshift “pee-pee teepee” in place. At first, she thinks it is the bottle of formula her husband was feeding her son moments before. However, she soon discovers it is her can of Diet Coke, which is now upside down between the well and the passenger seat, covering the floorboard with Diet Coke.

Fourth – Wife yells at husband “Why in the world did you put that there???” Husband proceeds to calmly tell wife not to yell at him as Diet Coke continues to leak on the floorboard.

Fifth – One of the parents (Can’t remember which one.) finally collects their scattered wits long enough to grab the Diet Coke can. Mother tells father to stop telling her to quit yelling at him and help her clean up the Diet Coke on the changing pad before son puts his foot in it.

Six – Mother explains to father that she wasn’t trying to yell, just exclaiming in wonderment over the fact that he thought it was a good idea to put the Diet Coke can there. He’s usually smarter than that. That’s what sleep deprivation will do to you, kiddies.

Seven – Father helps clean up the Diet Coke, goes to grocery store gas station to get paper towels.

Eight – Son spits up as soon as father leaves. Mother is still holding him on front seat. Burp cloth is in backseat.

Nine – Mother makes do with a wipe until father returns, retrieves burp cloth, and finishes the job. Afterwards, mother realizes she no longer knows which cloth diaper is “pee-pee teepee” and which is burp cloth.

Ten – Son is returned to backseat unscathed. Parents have a good laugh at themselves. Son laughs at parents from car seat. Parents drive out of the parking lot after that stunning display of mental acuity and coordination.

Although it doesn’t sound like it from that story, our first trip as a family went very well this weekend! Our son barely fussed in the car. He is the most amazing baby ever.

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Day in the life of a mommy

September 9, 2009 at 5:54 am (Babies, Family, Motherhood, Parenting, Relationships, television)

7:30 a.m. Wonderful husband bottle-feeds son, so I can get some extra sleep after my horrendous Saturday night.

7:35 a.m. Realize that my Mommy radar won’t let me sleep when the baby is awake and in the immediate vicinity.

7:45 a.m.-ish Go back to sleep with baby after he has been duly fed and burped.

11:30 a.m. Awaken next to squirming baby. Rush in to bathroom to test milk on Milkscreen to make sure glass of wine consumed 12 hours ago is safely out of bloodstream.

11:32 a.m. Rush now-screaming baby in to be changed after Milkscreen’s thumbs-up.

11:35 a.m. Am now feeding baby, who falls asleep after one side. Right boob, which has not been feed or pumped off of in over 12 hours starts to pulse  ominously.

Noon: Place smiling, giggling, but totally uninterested in eating and relieving Mommy’s discomfort baby in swing. Silently curse the Fates for making me have to put him in the swing when he’s happy, yet deal with him when he’s screaming his bloody head off. Realize will have to pump while having breakfast.

12:05 p.m.: Find pumping equipment still dirty in sink and vitamin container empty. Breakfast moving farther away.

12:30 p.m.: Finally start making breakfast after cleaning pump, filling cats’ water bowls and disseminating Fancy Feast and about a thousand cat treats. Hear Nature calling just as toast pops up.

12: 40 p.m.: Finish spreading soupy butter on room temperature toast.

12:45 p.m. Realize all of my nursing and baby paraphernalia still need to be moved from bedroom to living room in case the baby wakes up hungry or cat plops itself on my lap, rendering me unable to move.

1:20 p.m. Finally sit down to breakfast. Baby starts to stir. Start wondering whether to pump or wait.

1:30 p.m. Baby asleep. Must pump before boob explodes and obliterates Tokyo with typhoon of breast milk.

1:40 p.m. Crisis averted. Tokyo safe.

2:20 p.m. Baby awake. Finished all of breakfast except yogurt. Place yogurt on mantel to protect from cats. Change and nurse baby.

3 p.m. Tummy time.

3:30 p.m. Try to place baby in bouncy seat, so can pick out husband’s birthday present. Baby suddenly hates bouncy seat.

4 p.m. Discover all birthday ideas are not available until after birthday.

4:30 p.m. Baby asleep in swing. Rush to finally dress and brush teeth and hair.

4:45 p.m. Eat lunch.

5:20 p.m. Change and nurse baby.

5:45 p.m. Attack poor, unsuspecting husband for being late and calling while my phone was in the back and I couldn’t answer it (due to nursing).

6 p.m. Make up with husband after we catch each other smiling at Friends.

7 p.m. Eat dinner from Baby Greens, watch season premiere of 90210.

8 p.m. Nurse baby, watch series premiere of Melrose Place. Already looking forward to next week. Good sign.

8:45 p.m. Discover yogurt still on mantel.

10 p.m. Shower.

11 p.m. Nurse baby.

12:30 Blog, eat ice cream, go to bed. Start all over again tomorrow.

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Awkward parenting dialogue

September 9, 2009 at 5:35 am (Babies, Relationships)

Me: I think the batteries are out in his (our son’s) monkey mobile. What kind does it take?

Husband: It takes wind-up batteries.

Me before I notice smirk spreading across husband’s face: Really? There’s such a thing as wind-up batteries … ooookay. I get it. (In pitiful tone.) Don’t make fun of me like that. (Thinking in not-so-pitiful tone.) The postpartum reunion just got postponed indefinitely, smart ass.

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Insani-tea

September 9, 2009 at 5:27 am (Babies, Sleep)

I could not sleep all night on Saturday. At first, I thought I couldn’t sleep because my husband had the gall to fall asleep while I had to stay up nursing and I got really, really mad at him. However, I realized even I couldn’t get mad enough to stay awake for hours when I am exhausted from caring for a newborn. Then, I remembered it. The English Teatime I had consumed with my mother after 9 p.m. Normally, I would never do that, but I was so exhausted that I was certain it would never be able to keep me awake. I am here to tell you that it did. I was awake all night Saturday, not because my baby was awake (He slept like an angel, of course. A snorting, snuffling, sighing, farting angel, but an angel nonetheless.), but because I consumed too much caffeine too late at night. Is there such a thing as too much caffeine in a new mom’s world? I’m afraid so, especially when you chase it with a bowl of Bluebell Homemade Vanilla and Hershey’s syrup.

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Baby cute

September 3, 2009 at 4:20 am (Babies, Family, Motherhood, Pregnancy)

My husband asked me to post a cute, innocuous entry, because he wants to tell his sisters about my blog and he was afraid they would wonder why he wanted them to look at it right after my last, rather explicit, post. I probably do need a post where I don’t talk about bodily functions, but, as I’m sure many of you know, you spend most of your time dealing with those as a new mom, so they are always on your mind.

However, the second thing foremost on my mind is how cute my baby is and now much I adore him. He is, quite simply, the cutest baby ever. Despite the fact that he has all of my facial features and yet still manages to look like my husband. Which everyone points out. My husband is very handsome, but I carried the baby for forty-one and a half weeks and spent 12 hours birthing him. And he has MY features!! Grrr.

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Adventures in postpartum birth control

September 3, 2009 at 4:14 am (Babies, Birth control, Etiquette, Yoga)

A lot of people (namely men) probably don’t know this, but vaginas can belch. I don’t know of a better word to describe it. It’s different from passing gas, because you aren’t. I can personally attest to the fact that inversions in yoga can be very risky for precisely this reason. I once swept up in to a headstand and, somehow, my lady parts took a deep breath. I literally felt the air sweep in there prompting an inward “uh-oh.” Sure enough, what goes up, must come down, meaning, not only my legs, but the air. Unfortunately, there were only three people (including me) besides the teacher in that yoga class, so I couldn’t look innocent and pass it off on someone else.They were all good enough to ignore it, but they knew. Oh, they knew.

So, why have I subjected you to a long discussion of vaginal belching? (Which my husband just reminded me has another name, but I like mine better.) Well, I decided to try Nuva Ring rather than going back on the Pill. I started it yesterday and I swear, for like, an hour afterward, my body was trying to expel that thing. It didn’t succeed, but it made a noise remarkably similar to the yoga class incident at times. It finally stopped, but between my Nuva Ring and my son’s loud, uncontrollable gas, our living room was very noisy for awhile.

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Bless you

September 3, 2009 at 4:04 am (Animals, Cats, Food, Relationships)

I found out today that my husband actually had some doubt as to whether I would eat food with cat snot on it. He seemed to think I might, if I was hungry enough. Just to set the record straight, I have never been THAT hungry. Now I wonder what kind of man I married, since he was apparently willing to marry someone he thought could maybe, possibly, eat cat snot.

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Semi-awkward parenting moment

September 2, 2009 at 5:31 am (Babies, Motherhood, Parenting)

I had forgotten that little boys can, well, seem “excited,” even when they are very young. I worked in a daycare once and changed other little boys’ diapers, so I did know this, but somehow, I never considered it in connection with my own son. However, I was confronted with it a couple of days ago. It didn’t shock me that much. I was just like, “Oh, yeah. I forgot that could happen,” and I went on changing the diaper. However, I was shocked a moment later when it suddenly seemed like his “excitement” had become way too prominent for a one-month-old. Turns out his mom sticks her pinky out when changing diapers instead of when drinking tea.

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